hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
