I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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