If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
