i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
