singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
