this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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