so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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