I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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