I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
