Already got asked if we're dating
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
