i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
