i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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