So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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