My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
