My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
