I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
