just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize