i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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