i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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