Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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