3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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