my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
