trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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