I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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