it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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