My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
