my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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