you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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