i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize