this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize