Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
3pm strippers are depressing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
