The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
