Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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