You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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