You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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