It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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