just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
