it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
