I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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