3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
