We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
