420 ftw
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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