Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
