you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
