I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
