so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
