Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
