the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
