You really coming over, don't trick.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
