Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
its liver damage thursday
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
