my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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