He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
