She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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