We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
