I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
