Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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