'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
