I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
