there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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