garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I got inside last night via doggy door
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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