I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
only you would photoshop your dick
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize