even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The beer is more important than you right now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
