Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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