Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
