you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
