We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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