Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize