so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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