Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
