What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
