he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
