They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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