? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
