If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
