Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
