We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
